The Life of a Teenage Drama Queen

      Well, this has been a long time coming. I never knew that you would mean so much to me when you stumbled into my life. This time last year, we tried. We smiled, we laughed, we loved. We fought, we argued, we lost each other. Back then, I was so confused. I didn't know what I wanted. My priorities were not set on what they should've been, and that caused the worst possible outcome. I cried so much. I loved you, and you left. But I know you left because you knew that it wasn't right at the time. We weren't people that should've been together. We were too different. But, we grew. We grew up into the people we are today. We grew into the people that are meant to be together.
       I believe that people change. I know I've changed for the better, and I am so happy about that. However, in the year that you were gone, I built a wall around my heart that would block anyone out. It could withstand 300 pounds of dynamite and still be perfectly fine. I was so unhappy being with other people because I had forgotten how to be happy. I had forgotten what it felt like to be happy with someone else because I was so busy blaming you for leaving me when I was so fragile. It is a pain that I never want to feel again.
        But, you always seemed to be around me. Through the winter, you were always around me somehow. I always seemed to be in your presence. I believe that we were put together so much because we were supposed to end up together. I didn't think that I would ever be yours again. I had spent so much time pretending to hate you and making sure no one caught me looking at you that I had completely pushed back every feeling I had towards you. I made sure you were the enemy. But, I let you back in. I let you invade my life, but now I know it was for the better.
       However, with all the wreckage in the past, I'm not the same person I was a year ago. I'm not happy and bubbly, I'm more dark and cloudy. This is because I spent so much time trying to love someone else, when I didn't look right in front of me. And now, I find it so hard to let the barrier down to let me love back all the time. I let you come back in, even after everyone told me not to. I took the chance and now I can't even explain how much happiness you have brought into my life. I'm a difficult person, and I know how difficult I can be. I don't like being touched, I don't like being looked at. Anxiety can literally kill a person inside, no matter what another can say.
        This scares me so much, because I know once I let my guard down, I will be so vulnerable. Vulnerable to every fight, every argument, every piece of my heart that will break while we yell. I'm so afraid that once I let down the wall, I will be left, yet again. Except this time, you will break every little piece that you picked up. Like a broken glass on concrete. It's crazy how one person can make another feel this way. I fall in love with you a little more every single day. I cry for you, I miss you, I love you. I love you for you. The smile you give me and the laughs we share. Sometimes I really wanna strangle you, and I know that you'd love to strangle me sometimes. But, I want you to stay. I don't want you to leave. Stay for me, choose me, love me. Be there when I'm sad, hold my hand when I'm scared, have my back when no one else will. It's like you're a disease and I'm infected by it. I can't think about anything or anyone else, because it's you. I love you all the time. Every minute of the day. I love you. I'm ready to love back, to let the wall down. Full vulnerability.